Ok, so here's the deal... If you need the explanations they're all around you...
1) She speaks spanish... she speaks spanish perfectly... what is she like...5? Her backpack even speaks spanish perfectly!
2) That backpack of hers has EVERYTHING in it! And we're talking everything! Life support, water/food, clothing for any weather, ropes, grappling hooks, shoes.... i mean c'mon!
3) She's carrying a freaking ZOO with her! I mean, she has a monkey, an band of insects, a bajillion other animals! Really! What kind of legal immigrant has that many pets!?
4) She's always on an "adventure" to transport a "package" to some destination and is always being stalked by a person trying to take that package... i mean... really, Swiper is obviously some sort of border patrol person trying to collect evidence of Dora's entire narcotics trafficking buisness
The evidence is so obvious and around you guys! And they're even poisoning our little children with them... Who wants our toddlers to grow up knowing spanish before english?! Even if it's the USA...
We must track down the one Dora and DESTROY HER...
and her little monkey too
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Pomp and Circumstance and Timmy
Note: Brace yourselves for a story of ridiculous content.
Today in band class I get ready to play and realize..."HEY...this is Pomp and circumstance! I don't have to play this. I'm a SENIOR!"
So I lay down...THE ONE of maybe FIVE times EVER I haven't played in class. (For the record I don't ever lay on the spitty band floor, because of just that...it's got human saliva EVERYWHERE! But for the extreme gratification I wanted, it was highly necessary)
I begin listening to the bright illustrious tune EERKING from every instrument. Despite poor tuning, bad intonation, and HORRIBLE articulation, the group of underclassmen were doing quite well... and by that I mean they were certainly playing something.
Nonetheless, it was our graduation song and it must be cherished; for two particular reasons: 1)it serves as the song of passage from innocence to the transition into adulthood, and 2) it serves at the song of passage from hell to freedom. Hell meaning AVHS.
Now it's beginning to hit me. I'm leaving. Going to new places across the country, no longer in my comfort zone. Realizing that the only people I might see past this point are family and JILL. It was a touching moment... I was almost saddened by it. I didn't hate this place...I didn't hate band! Or the kids in it.
Then suddenly the tuned stopped. Silence set in and I heard the sound of shifting bodies. You know...the sound one makes when looking behind one-self. Somehow I knew, I just knew they were all looking at me.
Then I hear that voice. The kind of voice that could make you want to punch a baby...
"Uh, Stephanie?"
...
"Yeah"
" Why aren't you playing?"
"Well...I'm a senior"
"So does that make you better than everyone else here? heh heh heh" (imagine in nasal clogged voice)
aside: "No jackass that makes me someone who doesn't play this song, come graduation."
Me:"Um....I don't have to play this"
Timmy: "I'm playing it and I'm a senior"-------I ignore him
Mr. P: "Yeah tim's playing it!"
aside: "like you...TIM'S a Jackass! Who plays this when you're a senior!!! The wee one's have to fend for themselves!"
Me:" No one played it last year. Come on... you don't want to hear this sound of a full band now and then deal with half a band at graduation because the seniors are you know, GRADUATING."
"oh...then just be quiet back there. Ok?"
"yeeeeah. O K!"
WHAT THE BILLY BOB THORTEN!! Who THE Shawshank Redemption does he think he is?!?!? First off I really shouldn't have to play this and secondly... I was NEVER talking!Not once! Son of a Bee
I swear it's because I'm a RANGEL!
And that idiot timmy! "I'm playing!" Yeah cuz you're socially retarded and have nothing better to do.
If you're reading this and you know tim like I know tim, you'll understand.
And in regards to the comments made by a one "Mr. P"...let's just say my comments pre- Stephanie Attack are all void! I hate this band...I hate this place... and timmy...I hate you.
Today in band class I get ready to play and realize..."HEY...this is Pomp and circumstance! I don't have to play this. I'm a SENIOR!"
So I lay down...THE ONE of maybe FIVE times EVER I haven't played in class. (For the record I don't ever lay on the spitty band floor, because of just that...it's got human saliva EVERYWHERE! But for the extreme gratification I wanted, it was highly necessary)
I begin listening to the bright illustrious tune EERKING from every instrument. Despite poor tuning, bad intonation, and HORRIBLE articulation, the group of underclassmen were doing quite well... and by that I mean they were certainly playing something.
Nonetheless, it was our graduation song and it must be cherished; for two particular reasons: 1)it serves as the song of passage from innocence to the transition into adulthood, and 2) it serves at the song of passage from hell to freedom. Hell meaning AVHS.
Now it's beginning to hit me. I'm leaving. Going to new places across the country, no longer in my comfort zone. Realizing that the only people I might see past this point are family and JILL. It was a touching moment... I was almost saddened by it. I didn't hate this place...I didn't hate band! Or the kids in it.
Then suddenly the tuned stopped. Silence set in and I heard the sound of shifting bodies. You know...the sound one makes when looking behind one-self. Somehow I knew, I just knew they were all looking at me.
Then I hear that voice. The kind of voice that could make you want to punch a baby...
"Uh, Stephanie?"
...
"Yeah"
" Why aren't you playing?"
"Well...I'm a senior"
"So does that make you better than everyone else here? heh heh heh" (imagine in nasal clogged voice)
aside: "No jackass that makes me someone who doesn't play this song, come graduation."
Me:"Um....I don't have to play this"
Timmy: "I'm playing it and I'm a senior"-------I ignore him
Mr. P: "Yeah tim's playing it!"
aside: "like you...TIM'S a Jackass! Who plays this when you're a senior!!! The wee one's have to fend for themselves!"
Me:" No one played it last year. Come on... you don't want to hear this sound of a full band now and then deal with half a band at graduation because the seniors are you know, GRADUATING."
"oh...then just be quiet back there. Ok?"
"yeeeeah. O K!"
WHAT THE BILLY BOB THORTEN!! Who THE Shawshank Redemption does he think he is?!?!? First off I really shouldn't have to play this and secondly... I was NEVER talking!Not once! Son of a Bee
I swear it's because I'm a RANGEL!
And that idiot timmy! "I'm playing!" Yeah cuz you're socially retarded and have nothing better to do.
If you're reading this and you know tim like I know tim, you'll understand.
And in regards to the comments made by a one "Mr. P"...let's just say my comments pre- Stephanie Attack are all void! I hate this band...I hate this place... and timmy...I hate you.
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